Asperger's Syndrome In Children – The Importance Of Routine to Avoid Meltdowns
The brain of a child (or an adult for that matter) with Asperger's syndrome is a complicated, sometimes mysterious thing. It works in ways that are often difficult to figure out. Why does your child have a tantrum when they can't find their shoes? Why does that employee with Asperger's never understand what I'm saying? What goes on in their head to make them seemingly over-react to so many situations?
One thing that isn't difficult to figure out, though, is that a person with Asperger's syndrome has a need for routine. It may seem bizarre at first, to the average person, but if you stop to think a little bit about the way the Asperger's brain works, you'll find that it actually makes sense after all. That doesn't mean that people with Asperger's syndrome shouldn't try to learn how to be flexible when necessary, but you should try to create a stable routine whenever possible for a person with Asperger's.
Why does a person with Asperger's need routine?
The world of a child, teenager or adult with Asperger's is full of lots of uncertainty and fear. This may be because of their problems generalizing specific events to more general events. For example, if they do well in something one time, in one specific way, they may fail to generalize that to other, similar situations and believe that they can also handle those situations. There is a continual, ever changing parade of variables that keep the person with Asperger's in a state of anxiety.
Weak Central Coherence
This is often called "weak central coherence." In other words, people with Asperger's have trouble, as the metaphor goes, "seeing the forest for the trees." They get so focused on the details of each event that they are unable to see it globally, or see the big picture — they lack perspective.
Since details are so overwhelmingly obvious to them, they get distressed when small details are changed. Because of the way they process information and understand the world, it changes their whole meaning and understanding of the world.
As a result, routine becomes increasingly important to the Asperger's child and adult. The more they can do everything in exactly the same way every day, the more their experience of the world will remain the same — and the more stable their mood and level of anxiety will remain.
It's almost like, for the typical person, if you woke up one day and everyone around you was speaking French, and you had to figure out what they meant. Just as you mastered that, you wake up the next day and everyone is speaking German. The third day, Italian. While this is an extreme example, and not completely analogous, the point remains.
Re-arranging Mental Maps
People with Asperger's constantly have to re-arrange and change their mental map of the world. The average person's mental map is loose enough and general enough to encompass most of the events that go on in their day without too much distress. But due to this theory of weak central coherence, the mental map of a person with Asperger's is so detail bound that it is constantly changing — and that is exhausting and frightening. It feels like the earth is moving under you…several times a day.
Sense of Stability
Where do you get your overall sense of stability? The sense that tells you that you will be okay even if things go wrong a little bit? For most people, they have this sense inside of them. It provides a buffer to the constant change and chaos of the outside world.
But for most people with autism, they don't have that sense. Their sense of well-being…or lack thereof…comes almost solely from the environment around them. Remember, people with autism also have sensory issues that make them very sensitive to their environment. So if their environment is comfortable and not overwhelming, and all of their other needs are being reasonably met, then they are probably going to be doing pretty well.
But the second you make the environment uncomfortable — start playing some loud music, bring in someone with perfume, put scratchy clothes on them, whatever it may be — that all comes crashing down. Warning bells go off in the brain, and their world is thrown into a state of chaos. Remember, they don't have the global thinking to realize that it will end soon, and they will be okay again. They just know that it feels like the world is ending, because they feel so bad NOW.
So what does this all mean?
Because of the way they process the world, people with autism and Asperger's crave similarity and routine. This makes their world feel much safer and calmer. You may wonder why they over-react when you change some seemingly small detail of their routine, or make them do something on the spur of the moment; you may think their distress is exaggerated, but it is not. It all comes down to a difference in the way that the brain of a child or adult with Asperger's syndrome processes information.
And while this may seem overwhelming to both you and your Asperger's loved one, there is information available to help. To find information to help both children and adults with Asperger's syndrome see our solutions page. Also ensure you sign up for the FREE Asperger's Syndrome Newsletter to gain additional information to help your loved one be happy and succeed in life.
11 Responses to Asperger’s Syndrome In Children – Avoiding Meltdowns And The Importance Of Routine
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My 4 year old grandson shows many of the signs and is having trouble in his daycare of establishing and keeping freinds. He is well liked but many times pushes away his friends. Time alone at the secluded beach with me seems to be so calming and peaceful just playing in the sand and waves.
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Meltdowns in the classroom and cafeteria usually in the morning.How can she ease into the school routine? Also her teacher believes this is a discipline issue, displaying very little understanding.
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I teach preschool and have a child with aspurgers sydnrom. He has fits of screaming and wanting to run away. I wont to learn how to make him a less stresed and a happy child.
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I was trying to find out why a friends daughter was so different. While reading a few articles Asbergars began to creep in.. Soon it showed signs of my behavior. I also have a twin separated at birth,then it all came together,specifically problems with autistic twins. However aspergars was more reals vent than autistiism. I hope your news letter may open a few window.
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hi im a mother witha son that i think has aspergers and my best friend has a 18 yr old daughter that just go diog with it and we are looking for help so if i could get the newsletter on paper as she does not have email that would be great.
Our 8 year old has Asperger’s and we use the guide / information you make available to us everyday in our lives -- such as decreasing anxiety, how to prepare for the next year & how others can help us. I am attaching a photo of our son Chance-8 years old and is making progress everyday. I also sent a family picture from Christmas. He works very hard at everything he does. Thanks for being there for my family and others.
I hope this reaches out to those who have young ones with Aspergers for this will help answers those "whys and why nots". 
I just started your book 2 days ago. It's like I’ve been starving & it's food! It's nice to read stuff where I don't feel like my 7 yr old is defective. I’ve known that all along the main reason I even want to put a label on her differences is because I want to be a better, more effective mom to her. Thanks for the time & effort you put into researching this & writing your books to help others like me. Sherilin Vickery Riley, Chattanooga, TN
I enjoy and appreciate the information, anything to help my son and my own understanding of what life is like for Nicholas. It also helps me educate my son's teacher and EA which this process is ongoing and at times very frustrating.
My name is Matt Turner from Australia. I have a 6 y.o. with Aspergers (fairly mild). I found your work insightful and helpful - my wife is a doctor and spent many hours wading through medical texts to no avail. Our son Finley Turner is a very bright, friendly, healthy, unconditionally loved boy who can lose it sometimes. The guide helped us understand what to do and it helps him as much as us. Thanks for the work and I have recommended you to other parents in similar situations.
I found your articles to be extremely helpful...I applaud you for sharing your story and helping others who are going through similar situations. Thank you for sharing your story.
I was pleasantly surprised by the consistency, and thoroughness of the topics. I think this is a valuable tool for anyone who has someone with Aspergers or knows some who has Aspergers. I think this was a valuable tool for me because as a parent we all need a kick in the butt and stay on task, constantly fighting, updating and communicating with caregivers, teachers and finding tools for our children. Keep it up!
I definitely found your information helpful. My grandson was just diagnosed this summer. He is very smart and sweet. We will continue to be an advocate for him thanks to your information. I am including a picture of him. Thank you,
"Hi my son of 3 and a half years was diagnosed today, I had concerns so prior to his appointment I researched it and joined your newsletter. The information was so helpful and very supportive it was almost like having a counselor as I opened each email I felt like some one really understood my situation so thanks you so much for that, it's a very hard thing to accept and you do feel alone but with the letters I was given inspiration and hope that not everything was going to be doom and gloom it was and still is a lifeline. Mr. and Mrs. Allcok, ST Albans, Hertfordshire, England
"I have found the newsletters very valuable. I have forwarded them to teachers who work with Matthias when they apply."
I have been reading your Newsletter for a while now. Find attached a picture of my family. Joel is the little boy in glasses. Thanks for putting a smile on me. My knowledge and support is increasing. I feel more positive towards helping my son than ever.
I am Ben's grandmother and see him every single day. He is a joy. What your info does is help us to understand the melt downs that quite frankly we have always put down to the meds that he takes. We have proved your theory of a strict regime for Ben. Each letter adds to our knowledge. Keep it up dear friend. We learn from you every day and will I am sure continue to learn. God Bless you.
Your newsletters have been extremely helpful to me. They are easy to read, and cover important topics that are relevant to what I'm looking for. I'm a clinical social worker at a private art college in NYC. Thank you for taking the time to put something like this together! Sincerely,
My Grandson has been diagnosed with aspergers. All he wants to talk about, or cares about is technology. Computers, building or taking apart anything. He acts out in the Doctors office, school and everywhere. the school did an IEP, but they are only doing one hour twice a week of one to one, and I think he needs more because the teacher keeps informing my Daughter that he is acting out worse in class. I don’t think the teachers understand aspergers! My Daughter has a very hard time with any type of discipline or routine because her Husband has the same problems, but will not seek help. He just makes excuses, or holds him until he calms down. Most of the time my Grandson is very upset with his Dad, or lashes out by kicking or telling his Dad to leave him alone. We were hoping that Dad would go for help now that we have Grandson diagnosed, but he won’t.When he is at my house (Grandparents) he is very good. He goes to bed with no problem, eats, puts his plate in the sink, a listens, probably because it is way more routine. Not sure what to do