Volume 44
Hi, I'm Craig Kendall, the author of The Asperger's Syndrome
Survival Guide. In today's issue we will discuss...
Challenges for a Young Adult with Aspergers
The following email is representative of many I get on the challenges with young adults with AS.
Hello,
After doing research online about Asperger's I've noticed that I have shown a lot of the
symptoms of this disorder. All through my life into high school I've had extreme trouble
making friend. I was usually the kid sitting alone at the playground, while other kids
played. This was the same in high school.
While starting a class project I remember sitting by myself unsure on what to do or who's
group to join. I have had close friends but are friendship never evolved into anything,
because of my inability to make conversations or to play something to do together.
Another problem I had was bullying. I can remember in 7th grade this one kid who was of
course bigger then me cornering me in a corner. I didn't know what to do and was so scared
that I answered everything he said to me. I was lucky enough to have another boy come over
and help me. Even worse I was beat up several times, and never fought back. I didn't feel
that it was the right thing to do, or that I needed to defend myself.
When it comes to eye contact I can make eye contact some times, but am literally afraid to
look into someone eyes. I cant even look at a persons eyes in a magazine, to where I usually
turn the magazine over most of the time.
When it comes to work I have been though over 13 jobs, and never worked longer then 3
months. I felt as I couldn't commit to the job, and didn't wanna wait the several weeks to
get paid.
I have trouble with fabrics. When a fabric such as cotton material rubs against my skin I
get this electrical feeling through my entire body. I don't even have to touch the fabric. a
person beside me can just rub the fabric themselves, and when I hear the sound of there hand
rubbing against the fabric my whole body quenches up, and my ears hurt. I also have trouble
with loud noises, and bright lights. The kind of lights you would find at a Walmart. They
make my eyes burn, and make me feel very tired and thirsty.
Things I obsess over are the Nazi Germany era. I am constantly looking at pictures of Nazi
Germany, and Hitler and his SS. My brother gets annoyed how I tell him my opinion on how
things could of went.
I also have a good example of my inability to change my routine. I am currently babysitting
my aunts friends kids. My parents think it weird of me because I am so committed to
babysitting them. Even though they pay me pretty low I am still willing to go to help them.
I have trouble dealing with the fact that I might not be helping them anymore if I find
work. One question I have for you is why do I seem to get along really good with children
more then I do adults? I feel like I can communicate better with children. Why is this?
I have trouble knowing how to do things such as writing a check or organizing some big
event. I even have trouble keeping track of my medical bills, or my mail in general. My
fathers does every in that matter for me.
I am a 21 year old young man, who doesn't know where else to turn. I know you work with
children, but do you offer advice or answers to adults who could have this disorder? I don't
know if you care or will reply back, but these problems have ruined my life. I have never
been given help for them and I am usually made fun of by my family if I tell them what I am
dealing with. I am going no where because of these problem, and haven't had any friends for
most of my life. I sit inside everyday, and have no motivation to do anything. If you can
help me or give me some advice I would be most grateful.
Classic Symptoms
You have the classic symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome. Nearly everything you describe is
common for those with they syndrome. The good news is that Aspergers is much more widely
recognized today as one of the types of autism. Therefore, help is much more readily available.
Getting Professional Help
I suggest that you seek a professional diagnosis. At that point you can get a therapist who
can help you. Normally, people with Aspergers are able to make excellent progress and learn many
of the skills necessary to have friends, go on dates, find and KEEP jobs, etc. But you need to
find a therapist who is knowledgeable about Aspergers.
Your comment about being able to get along with children than people your own age is
very common. What we also see is that many people with Aspergers also get along with people who
are much older than themselves.
You bring up many issues. Many of my past newsletters have touched on these so I will list
several of my past newsletters here to help you.
Answers from my Past Newsletters
1. What is Asperger's syndrome?
4. What are the signs of Aspergers?
7. What steps should I take to see
if I or my loved one has Aspergers?
8. Why does it often take years to
diagnose Asperger’s Syndrome?
9. How can I get a diagnosis of
Aspergers for an Adult?
11. What are the most effective
ways to treat Aspergers?
12. How can I help my loved one who
has overly sensitive hearing?
13. What treatments help with
sensitivity to touch or having problems with the feeling of clothing?
15. My Aspergers loved one has
terrible social skills. What should I do?
16. My Aspergers teenager is
depressed because he is not making friends. What treatments can help?
22. An Aspergers Adult Who Was
Diagnosed at Age 24 and His Struggles to Learn Social Skills
34. Dating,
Puberty and Your AS Teen
39. What causes depression in
people with Aspergers?
40. Aspergers Support
Resources
41. Answers to Common Questions
about Adults with AS
Note: my newly released book on Aspergers for Teens and Young Adults discusses bullying, anxiety, depression and what to do about it. Click here for more information:
www.aspergerssociety.org/teen_book.htm |
Note: my newly released book on Aspergers for Adults discusses
how to make and keep friends, building relationships, employment, depression and the meaning of
life, therapy options and much more. Click here for more information:
www.aspergerssociety.org/adult_book.htm |
This is just a small part of the answers you will need to successfully survive and thrive with
Aspergers. If you are looking for additional information immediately, go to the following site:
www.AspergersSociety.org.
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