Asperger’s Syndrome Symptoms in Adults – Overcoming the Top 4 Challenges Asperger’s Adults Face
Asperger’s syndrome symptoms in adults is a topic less often discussed than Asperger’s in children — but it is an important topic because kids with Asperger’s syndrome grow up and become adults with Asperger’s.
Asperger’s syndrome is a form of high functioning autism. Irrespective of whether or not an adult has been officially diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, many adults know they have it…either from the symptoms they exhibit or from informal tests that they may have seen on a web site or in a book.
Many adults did not have the opportunity to be tested for Asperger’s as a child and were never formally diagnosed. Therefore, they did not benefit from early Asperger’s treatment or intervention. In many ways, this makes it especially difficult for many adults with Asperger’s.
There are many unique challenges to being an adult with Asperger’s, from social issues to employment to feelings of self-worth. What does it really feel like to be an adult with Asperger’s disorder?
The Top 4 Challenges Asperger’s Adults Face
A survey of adults with Asperger’s revealed that the following issues loomed largest in the adult with Asperger’s syndrome.
1. Employment Issues And Asperger’s
Employment is a big issue with adults who have Asperger’s. In order to be independent in our society, one usually needs a job. A lot of adults with Asperger’s want to be independent and live on their own, but to do so they need to be able to pay the bills. And that means getting a job.
Adults with Asperger’s are usually very intelligent and capable people, but they need a compatible environment for them to be able to thrive. What they need is usually not compatible with what most work places require. They need control of their environment; co-workers talking, snapping gum, or playing the radio can drive them to distraction. The lights may be too dim or too bright; perfumes or other smells may be bothersome; and in general, there may be too much sensory stimuli in a typical workplace environment to screen out.
Then there is office politics, which is something most adults with Asperger’s have problems with, and getting along with others in general. Jobs that require working with the public have their own problems. And even getting past the interview to get the job can be a problem. This is all very frustrating to the adult with Asperger’s who just wants to prove that he can make it on his own and feel like he is contributing something to society.
2. Asperger’s Syndrome Leads To Feelings Of Inadequacy And Social Anxiety
Often times, adults with Asperger’s syndrome have to work twice as hard just to keep up with their typical peers, and often still fall behind. They see their peers getting jobs, living alone, getting married, and having an active social life, and they often feel jealous and a bit bitter if they are having problems in any of those areas. This is not to say that all adults with Asperger’s will have these issues, but often issues will crop up in one area or another. There is pressure to compare themselves to others their age, and they always find themselves wanting. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety and depression.
They may have a job, but still be living with their parents; or perhaps they have a job and live alone, but still rely on their family for a lot of help with everyday tasks. Keeping an apartment up, cleaning, cooking, and bill paying can all pose challenges, and trying to be social out in the world takes far more energy for an adult with Asperger’s than the typical person.
3. Difficulty With Friends And Relationships
Many adults with Asperger’s want to have friends, but their lack of social savvy makes it hard to do. Their difficulties picking up social cues and social anxiety get in the way of having friendships. Romantic relationships are even more difficult. Relationships are hard even for people without Asperger’s; there is so much communication and understanding that is required; so much give and take.
These are all things that can be hard for someone with Asperger’s. They are not impossible, but they can be difficult. Adults with Asperger’s are often lonely due to problems in this area. Social groups and activities with other people who also have Asperger’s can lessen some of this loneliness.
4. Feelings Of Meaninglessness
A lot of adults with Asperger’s are just plain brilliant in some areas. They know everything there is to know about the solar system, electronics or some obscure part of history. They like to think deeply. They have things they would like to do with their lives, goals and dreams. Some of them do accomplish these goals with a lot of work. Others are not so lucky.
Sensory issues, a tendency to get easily overwhelmed, or other issues get in the way of them achieving what they would like to. A large number of adults are on disability and cannot work. Finding things to fill their time can be a challenge.
They get to a point where nothing in their life has much meaning anymore, because all they’re doing is trying to survive. They have no activities that make them feel good about themselves and their place in the world. Again, this does not apply to everyone, but there need to be more programs to address these issues.
There Are Ways To Thrive With Asperger’s Syndrome
These are four of the main areas of difficulty for adults with Asperger’s. Do not despair, however, because there are ways to address all of these issues, especially if an adult can find a support group and good counseling. The future does not have to be bleak for adults with Asperger’s. There just needs to be people and programs in their lives who are sensitive to their needs and can improve the quality of their lives. With treatment, adults can overcome the symptoms of Asperger’s syndrome and lead a successful and fulfilling life.
These are just a few of the answers you will need to successfully survive and thrive with Aspergers. To find information to help both children and adults with Asperger’s syndrome see our solutions page. Also ensure you sign up for the FREE Asperger’s Syndrome Newsletter to gain additional information to help your loved one be happy and succeed in life.
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19 Responses to Overcoming the Top 4 Challenges Asperger’s Adults Face
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I have this disorder and it has cost me my life savings ultimately. Also I have no job now due to it. people splashing sneezes and gabbing on the phone all day while i worked so hard and loved my job. the job was all i had. i never got lonely like other people who might, my work fulfilled everything and i was happy. it was all i had and now i lost it. i got taken advantage of by so many people there. they hurt me for no good reason. always taking money making up stories. i once almosst got run over in parkling lot. i find lots of mistakes but i did it to help. i worked so hard and wish i did not have meltdown. i’mnow blackballed from employment and will be homeless. all family is dead. i’m so ashaemd. i pray i die when i go to sleep. no one is like me. how do they all survive in this world. i have trusted the wrong people and got betrayed too many times. hope hurts now. there are only dead ends and contempt for my situation.
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I am a stepfather to a 32 year old stepson who has been diagnosed with Aspergers. His real father could have paid for help at 6 years old but refused which ultimately led to a divorce when the young man was 15; the damage was done. His mother, now my wife, only found out several years ago that he could still get help, but he now refuses at age 32. I am paralyzed and confined to a wheelchair. He knows that I support him and his mom, but I’ve just decided to learn more about his disorder even though my wife has been trying to get me to for the past 4 years. I don’t have my stepson’s respect as I’m in my chair. I know that if I stood toe to toe with him, I could get him a little more motivated doing the things he can do. I will speak to my wife about your book, but we need most of our information for an adult.
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I think my husband has Aspergers, thought he does have alot of friends, their always saying things about how weird he can be or how OCD he is or bi-polar he is. He doesn’t have much empathy for others, he can say hurtful things to me or others and not think anything he said was wrong or rude. His made may comments about how happy he was living alone compared to now, and his jobs consist of him working alone or being in charge of what he does. He gets mad easy over silly things like if there is a dryed up water spots on the counter or we don’t leave the house to go somewhere at a time he thinks we have to leave. most of his anger is taken out on me with no regard on how it makes me feel. Even if I nicely explain it, then it’s me that has a problem. Do you think he does have Aspergers?
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hi my name is sunshine i have aspergers how do i deal with it?
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My son is 55, extremely intelligent and very difficult to get along with. I love him dearly but when he was two, I took him to a psychiatrist as he did not develop normally. I baby-sat all my teen years so I recognized that he was not doing things at the normal times babies usually do.How can I help him?
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I realized recently when my Mother became terminally ill, that my brother suffered from Aspergers. I have since come to the conclusion that probably my father and an older brother also have the same symptoms. They have always said things which are socially unacceptable and my Mother and I have always made excuses for them. I am at my wits end with trying to deal with the three of them.
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Please send me info. on adult asbergers.
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my grandson has asperger. He is 24 and at home with a mother and brother,26.
they m/b say it’s getting impossible to live with him. He sleeps days and runs around at night. Makes a mess, never picks up dishes in his room. Last week there was a collection from two weeks with all the garbage thrown in the sink. He receives a small income from ssa. His friends worm money from him and has him drive them all over. He runs out of money and has to get it from his mom who supports them all. Son 1 goes to school and is’nt working. I feel he needs to get out of the house, but my daughter says noone will take him, and she doesn’t know where to take him. They all need help. -
I think I have Aspergers due to lack of communication and I was wondering if holding onto past boyfriends is a sign of Aspergers
Our 8 year old has Asperger’s and we use the guide / information you make available to us everyday in our lives -- such as decreasing anxiety, how to prepare for the next year & how others can help us. I am attaching a photo of our son Chance-8 years old and is making progress everyday. I also sent a family picture from Christmas. He works very hard at everything he does. Thanks for being there for my family and others.
I hope this reaches out to those who have young ones with Aspergers for this will help answers those "whys and why nots". 
I just started your book 2 days ago. It's like I’ve been starving & it's food! It's nice to read stuff where I don't feel like my 7 yr old is defective. I’ve known that all along the main reason I even want to put a label on her differences is because I want to be a better, more effective mom to her. Thanks for the time & effort you put into researching this & writing your books to help others like me. Sherilin Vickery Riley, Chattanooga, TN
I enjoy and appreciate the information, anything to help my son and my own understanding of what life is like for Nicholas. It also helps me educate my son's teacher and EA which this process is ongoing and at times very frustrating.
My name is Matt Turner from Australia. I have a 6 y.o. with Aspergers (fairly mild). I found your work insightful and helpful - my wife is a doctor and spent many hours wading through medical texts to no avail. Our son Finley Turner is a very bright, friendly, healthy, unconditionally loved boy who can lose it sometimes. The guide helped us understand what to do and it helps him as much as us. Thanks for the work and I have recommended you to other parents in similar situations.
I found your articles to be extremely helpful...I applaud you for sharing your story and helping others who are going through similar situations. Thank you for sharing your story.
I was pleasantly surprised by the consistency, and thoroughness of the topics. I think this is a valuable tool for anyone who has someone with Aspergers or knows some who has Aspergers. I think this was a valuable tool for me because as a parent we all need a kick in the butt and stay on task, constantly fighting, updating and communicating with caregivers, teachers and finding tools for our children. Keep it up!
I definitely found your information helpful. My grandson was just diagnosed this summer. He is very smart and sweet. We will continue to be an advocate for him thanks to your information. I am including a picture of him. Thank you,
"Hi my son of 3 and a half years was diagnosed today, I had concerns so prior to his appointment I researched it and joined your newsletter. The information was so helpful and very supportive it was almost like having a counselor as I opened each email I felt like some one really understood my situation so thanks you so much for that, it's a very hard thing to accept and you do feel alone but with the letters I was given inspiration and hope that not everything was going to be doom and gloom it was and still is a lifeline. Mr. and Mrs. Allcok, ST Albans, Hertfordshire, England
"I have found the newsletters very valuable. I have forwarded them to teachers who work with Matthias when they apply."
I have been reading your Newsletter for a while now. Find attached a picture of my family. Joel is the little boy in glasses. Thanks for putting a smile on me. My knowledge and support is increasing. I feel more positive towards helping my son than ever.
I am Ben's grandmother and see him every single day. He is a joy. What your info does is help us to understand the melt downs that quite frankly we have always put down to the meds that he takes. We have proved your theory of a strict regime for Ben. Each letter adds to our knowledge. Keep it up dear friend. We learn from you every day and will I am sure continue to learn. God Bless you.
Your newsletters have been extremely helpful to me. They are easy to read, and cover important topics that are relevant to what I'm looking for. I'm a clinical social worker at a private art college in NYC. Thank you for taking the time to put something like this together! Sincerely,
Wow. You just described me and my life to a T. I’ve suspected for a couple of months now that I have Asperger’s Syndrome. A wonderful man with ADHD whom I met on Match.com said he could tell just from reading my profile that I had some kind of PDD if not a little ADD as well. We’ve fallen in love and are committed to our relationship, but this relationship is more painful than ever for me, precisely because we are so well suited to each other and there’s so much to lose. It’s so painful sometimes that I’ve considered giving it up and going back to my lonely but peaceful life in the woods communing with nature. I’ve never understood, but am beginning to now thanks to his help, why people, especially boyfriends, are so confusing to me. So-called normal people, or at least non-Asperger’s people, even the nicest, sweetest, most well-intentioned people on earth, even my family members who love me, are so inconsistent, don’t say EXACTLY what they mean, don’t even know what they’re trying to say, don’t think before they speak, etc. and they laugh when I ask them to explain and say, didn’t you know, no one says what they mean; you have to read between the lines. What the ?? LOL. That is so illogical. Why the heck did something as vital as human communication evolve in such a ridiculous manner?? I can’t imagine ever learning to decipher the way “normal” people communicate. On top of that, I see their facial expressions and know what basic emotion they must be feeling but can never tell if it has anything to do with me or the current situation or just some random thing going on in their head. I always feel like their bad mood is my fault. ANyway, that is just the tip of the iceberger’s haha in terms of what makes a relationship SOOO hard. Feeling love and affection and true understanding from someone I adore, then having him lose patience with me when he’s tired or just plain stop making sense at all when his ADHD kicks in after a hard day, or having to come back home here and be by myself for a few days after a great weekend with him is like the day after Christmas over and over and over again. I feel like an addict undergoing withdrawal. I always had a dog to love and take care of and need me and look up to me and give my life meaning and get me going every day for the past decade, but they’re both gone now and I feel so utterly lost. I don’t think getting another one now is the answer; I honestly feel like it would be putting a bandaid on a very serious problem. I know I should NOT feel this empty and unmotivated and disinterested in my own life and just plain terrified of my next emotional “episode”, which always involves a shocking amount of anger that I feel compelled to direct at myself but have always managed with great effort to keep reined in, but I’ve always had a hard time sustaining interest in things that are just about me; sometimes it would just evaporate suddenly while I was walking down the street with my dog and I couldn’t feel anything for a while. And I have low self-esteem and even paranoia from all the confusion and being somewhat persecuted and misunderstood my whole life. I spend a good part of my life not feeling like living but not feeling like killing myself either. Just tired. Forty some odd years of utter confusion and feeling so disconnected from everyone else. Now that I have this amazing man who wants to hold onto me and love me until the end of my days, despite my difficulties, I know I have to get help. But I’ve been down this road a dozen times (I’ve been diagnosed with atypical depression and schizoaffective disorder before, and medication only helped a little bit). I’ve dealt with doctors who can’t seem to see or hear the person in front of them, who made me worse instead of better. I’m tired of dealing with side effects from drugs. What hope is there for me? Where on earth do I start?